失败者。。!!!。。。

十大不可原谅错误
1。见面第一句问候语：喂，为什么这样迟？，迟到了。。看我们做了这样多东西。。现在才来。。（是 你自己做最少东西，到处诬赖人，这是怕死的性格，show给别人知道自己有做一些东西。）
2。没有事先安排的一切，曰：你可以这样这样这样吗？你帮我安排可以吗？（最后一分钟。。汗。。）
3。最后一分钟后作决定，然后又有人反对并没有做出任何建设性出路。（犯贱，自己没有安排好好，还要讲多多。。以后绝对不要再听到‘可是’这两个字！！）
4。不看清幕后工作的人是谁的人。
5。自己有同样错误并指责他人犯那样错误的人。
6。自己是组长但是并没有主见（组长：不懂呃，他们说要这样这样。。。（|||妈的）），不会领导，没有时间观念的人（最后一分钟了，还要问东问西。。。），做组长又不懂牺牲的人（组长：exam重要点。。。先做assignment啦。。）。
7。yahoo group post 多多到出去玩的人。
8。扮清高者。
9。没有工作但是又不会主动帮忙的人。
10。以后不要找之前没有经验或没有做过筹委的人。（恨）

One more mistake and u'll see what will I do, Mr Gan!!!

Wake up! Wake up!
Please do the thing u ARE SUPPOSE to do first,
then after that u can try anything u wan to do afterwards.
That is the real leadership style!

Boring@
Rushing with Hustle and Bustle

Damn society
Damn ppl who're organising@
Ok, I'm in it.
So how about me?
Miserable
Furious

Zzz.. But.. who cares? No ppl cares!!
Pathetic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Loser@@!!!!!

I'm the loser!

ok, I have nothing to lose now!!! Keep waking up ya noe!

很多未赶完的工作。
留到今天，才知道什么是‘迫厕’。

就拿修改banner的事件来说，这不关筹委的事，而是关个人信用！
答应了别人的事不去做，是对于个人名誉是很重要的。
就如这几个月的个人改变，也是不应该，
一点一点的累赘，能够造就对一个人对立的强大影响，
像得了慢性疾病那样，等死。
没有办法，只好一步一步分工了。

还有，诚意和信誉很重要，
诚意是表现在外，让人觉得，这，是值得的。
可是有些东西，没有必要说得那么清楚和撤透，
一些东西，还是要保留。

やくそく！

Me, I'm returning again.

Having trauma for past few months, I need a special definition for my life. It's something like a reconstruction of my mind. (Y? coz I dun have a definition..) Turning around and around, some kind like a dog chasing its tail for nothing.. Selfishness, that is me. It's cruel to say so, I hate being said so.. But indeed, that is me. Y I can't include other as a part of my life? I feel they're obstacles? Or I'm being pathetic of staying alone for a long time adi?

PeiShy, MingLee, and all the big bosses seemed like they have their own thinking. And that time I shouldn't say that I won't involve in politics, it's just being naive.

Done many wrong thing adi, so I must realize them and change.

And that time during XiaoFelng's singing at the cafe, I'm feeling a bit strange, what kind of relationship is this? We are all friends right? Y the situation seemed a bit.. funny.

I'm losing ground.

And yea, I must correct 'it'!!!!

You are The Hermit

Prudence, Caution, Deliberation.

The Hermit points to all things hidden, such as knowledge and inspiration,hidden enemies. The illumination is from within, and retirement from participation in current events.

The Hermit is a card of introspection, analysis and, well, virginity. You do not desire to socialize; the card indicates, instead, a desire for peace and solitude. You prefer to take the time to think, organize, ruminate, take stock. There may be feelings of frustration and discontent but these feelings eventually lead to enlightenment, illumination, clarity.

The Hermit represents a wise, inspirational person, friend, teacher, therapist. This a person who can shine a light on things that were previously mysterious and confusing.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Me != myself!

I'm changing.


I tipped myself. I contradict myself. I am my shadow...


My world consists of dreamland. And part of it exists in reality.
The reality me is not me.
I'm nothing if there is no definition for me. Or anyone who gives definition to my existence.


Something you can't reach, you feel it, you draw near it, you became part of it.


The identity of which you gain when you know the right time to choose.
It's not replication. It's not disguise.
It's mere repetition of everyday life.
Something you've gained after these processes.

Something I should've know earlier.
Something inside me has grow darker and darker.
I'm complicated.
I can't comprehend.
I'm not manage to comprehend so many information.
Part of them are fake, harmful, and influencing.
Information change thus I change.

Everything is just formular.

Everything is just a field of influential element.

Everything is nothing if there is no definition for them.

Definition comes first? or Everything comes first?

Who gave definition for them?

Evil and kindness meant nothing now...
They have their complicated way of manipulating things.
We gave judgement to them because they are harmful or beneficial to us.

Human is just a selfish entity.

I am selfish.
I wanted to gain advantage from others.

Everyone is selfish.
Everyone wanted to gain advantage from others.

No one will realise how the process going on...

People just see outcome compare with the input.

All are just nothing, all are the same,

repetition...

iteration...

iteration...

and iteration...

I'm just a minor part of your life, as I'd never play the major role part.
Now I understand, sooner or later I have to choose the way I am.

何で僕は泣くの？
何で全てのことずっと変えるの？
日々自分もう嫌いだ．
何も知らない、何も作られない．

今私はアミゴ．アミガのオンラインゲーム遊ぶ．
夕べ一人見た、彼は日本人ですが、変の人だよ．
彼はkennと言う。２００ゲームの金盗った．
大変ですね．．．

講話的心態

急事，慢慢講。
大事，清楚講。
小事，幽默講。
沒把握的事，謹慎講。
沒發生的事，不要胡亂講。
做不到的事，不必講。
他人的事，不要亂講。
自己的事，聼聼自己的心怎樣講。
萬事對事，不針對人去講。
現在的事，做了再講。
未來的事，決意了可行才去講。
爭論的事，溫和的講，心平氣和的講。
不要惡意去講，而善意去講。
開心的事，看場合講。
傷心的事，不要見人就講。
討厭的事，對事不對人講。
如果有對我不滿意的地方，請一定要對我講。

Holiday~ holiday~ again..
Well, it's time for my plan again, PLAYプレイ^_^

Seem like the PCSX2 haven't complete yet,
I'm still waiting for the 0.8.3 coming out, probably end of 2007~
And yea, Starcraft 2, Fallout 3,
really miss those games, AdDiCtEDdd...O.o|||

And continue to my JapaneseLv2 revision,
hopefully I can be able to take the test this year,
no more delay~

Happy Holiday~~~ ^^

I'm breaking up.. heal me.. and heal the desperate one..
pls.. dun get hurt..

Well.. seem like I've done it again.
Another mistake, and made the whole website down.
Silly as ever..

I met someone online,
I knew someone thru online,
issit real?

I wasn't touched at all,
I'm cold.
I'm tired.
Damn you.
Damn you all.

Endless war, endless conflict, no solution.
Heal yourself, rejuvenate your mind, cleanse the darkness.

=_= I'm just hallucinating, don't mind me.

|: wei i wana say 1st ya
|: if i hv 2 bek earlier 2 mlc n cook all d stuff
|: i dun wan touch report
|: i dun wan do all stuff la
|: dun wan be nice ppl anymore
|: =.=!!

wat's the meaning of this?
one word pushing everything away?

ok you can't do u can assign people to do,
you just confirm with it next time.

A leader is not just doing the work alone but is doing in group.

Ok, u're busy.
I'm busy too, and have to think of a lot of real solutions.

Summore I got people inside group asking of weird questions.
I'm getting crazy. What a colourful world.

And do I need to do the enquiries myself?
Why nobody take initiative?
I'm not the whole group.
I'm just part of the group.
I lead the group to success.
People can question my action.
I'm not god.

And tomorrow I have to see the lecturer again.
Stupid lecturer.
Anyway, thanks to people
who took initiative to question about my action.
thanks to people
who ask a lot of troubles that makes me learn.
I'm growing up.

Here is how we cares for others, I quoted it because I wanted to remind myself of it. Don't want to create my own world anymore...

"when we do or speak out something, it doesnt mean other ppl will have to accept even you think it is right. becoz everyone's perspective of right or wrong is different. so when we act and speak, we have to speak and act for the other person, not for ourselves. if we can do tat, then only we can tell ourselves, we are thinking on other people's behalf."

Expressing yourself... how do we express ourself? To laugh whenever you're happy, to shout whenever you're feeling to, to be sad when something bad happens. People just say I'm a robot, cause I don't have any feeling to anything. I'm selfish.

I going out sushi again with MeiPing, PuiPui and AiZhen in Sushi King JJ today, there are variety of topics we've discussed. We're kinda funny at that time cause we're snatching those plates like we've hungry for few days without food. PuiPui snatched those plates upon settling down at the seat, I was like |||... wow.. Hehe, seriously I can't spend more already, else I'll bankrupt. Crazy sushi king promotion, I'm one of the supporter.

Looking back then, we're having a lot of fun together. And sometimes there are miserable times, while most of the time I just ran away from problems, blaming myself why I couldn't make everything better. Lament, without much improvement, in the end, I'm still the same?

And yea, another thing, PuiPui asked whether how ppl looking at her at the first time, I made the point, but I wanted don't want to like make her unhappy and say something after then. I'm just wanted to cover up my point so it doesn't looks ugly? But indeed it looked ugly in the end.

So, making a point is just straight forward, like MeiPing, she just say: Yes, you are. And that solved the problem and makes people think that you're honest without much problem. It's just straight forward, nothing more.

Sure I can do it, try harder!

Sometimes the most attractive person turns out to be the most lame one in the end, or after some time. Just don't judge a book by its cover. Actually I'm browsing through some old photos and I discovered that.. Some of the people do change and become nicer but some others become the opposite.. People do change, I mean physically, but how do we know whether they're still same person after some time? Depends right?

Currently doing websites, noctorus.net, bought it for rm40, and also the 3g webspace. Arghh.. spent so much this month.

Terribly scared that I can't cope with stress anymore... I'm stucked.
Towards brighter me,
towards better me,
towards best me.
Lets pray... ... lolz (><)