Friday, June 9, 2006

I'm dead, for the moment.


I'm dead.

I'm dead. Pls do not send me message for the moment~
I'm dead. Pls take care of yourself~
I'm dead. I'm hurt~ (I do still have senses huh!?)
I'm dead. Pls consider me as you never know me before.
I'm dead. Everything is just your illusion.
I'm dead. Pls forget me.
I'm dead. Pls forgive me.
I'm dead. Pls do not send me sms.
I'm dead. Pls forget about the memories of us all together.
I'm dead. But earth remain spinning.
I'm dead. Pls take care of my dog, visky. Remember to buy him dogfood.
I'm dead. Pls be careful when I'm not around.
I'm dead. Pls keep ur promise not to say our secret to anyone.
I'm dead. I wanted to be buried at a place where full of grasses and flowers.
I'm dead. Pls dun let my parents sad.
I'm dead. Everything will be fine. Everything will return to normal.

I'm dead. I'll reborn.
I'm dead. I'll reborn.

Don't wait me... Pls forget me... Pls forgive me...
I do not exist.
I do not appear in your memories.
I am just a people you do not remember.


Reborn...

New me...

Reintroduce new me...

Once again...


=+:iiV@nn:+=

Wednesday, June 7, 2006

Preparing: New Me! ^

Am I prepared?
Am I scared?
I'm always me... Don't be affected by my change...
Wait for me, k?... I'll always be there for you...
Remember our promise... Remember what you've said to me...

New plan after sem break:
1. Revise english, revise japanese.
2. Do house cleaning.
3. Make website and port folio.
4. Backup DVDs.
5. Take off braces and replace with retainer.
6. Prepare for 13/6's Pulau Perhentian trip^_^.
7. Go gym.
8. Deal with landlord about the electricity problem.
9. Earm money $$.
10. Buy stuff for co-co activities, and also cls activities.

^_^|||

Tuesday, June 6, 2006

Braces

I guess I've been wearing braces for almost 2 years. Thinking back, it was not really as suffering as people said, or I've get use to it already, just some scary part in the beginning like extracting the wisdom teeth and three other teeth. And I'm really proud to announce that I'm going to take it off after sem break. ^_^

There have been some difficulties in the beginning actually and I'm scared that I can't cope with them sometimes. Part of them is that my speech become more blur. Um.. I know that sometimes I was really don't know how to express myself and thus this makes me worse. But fortunately all my friends here don't really care about it. I learnt who're more truthful to be with and who're lying all the times.

And thanks to it, I've become stronger and stronger. Pros and cons, I guess there are more pros rather than cons. It's not wasting money, it's to build up confidence and one's identity.

The process of these are called orthodontics, there will have no signboard in the hospital saying braces install or anything like that. Funny though, at first I also don't really know what the term means and just go to see the doctor in the dentistry department for check up. I was really scared at that time whether how I'm going to cope with these all. Fortunately I was really brave to take this step, though it was hard.

There are several minor component of the braces. It's not just using wires and tied them around your teeth but there are several technique to 'glue' it to your teeth. Or some other places they use more technologically advanced blue laser to 'glue' it. The components consist of parts like brackets which is glued to your teeth, the 'memory' metal which is made of stainless steel, bands which are to places in the molars (innermost teeth) to fix the metal wires inside together with the brackets. There are some other 'equipment' which are use to correct the teeth's position like archwire, elastic, expander etc etc.

Before the installing of braces, I've ought to have something called spacers in between my last molar and the second to make a gap for the band to fit in. And the installing process is just very easy, the orthodontist (for me it was Mrs Kok, ^_^ nice woman..) will place something looked like cigaratte (which is not cigaratte, it's actually some sort like cotton with cigaratte shape) inside your mouth to prevent your saliva and skins from disturbing the process. Then the orthodontist will start to install the bands in the molars, followed by the brackets on the correct position on the teeth. They use the dental grade cement and light to fix the brackets until harden completely. The process was of course fast for a experienced orthodontist like Mrs Kok. And then she took the metal wires and affix it with elastics, brackets ligature, and bands. On the first day, the wires looked like zig zag, but after a few weeks, my teeth started to move around according to the wires original shape because the wires they used were 'memory' type, so it'll remember its original shape when it reach the human temperature.

And now, tada~, what I have now is more confidence, and more smile ^_^.

Just wanna to encourage (or push) more people to do orthodontics... wakaka~ (and yea, I saw people said from internet that almost all people from western country had done this before~)

^...^ <- smile like this is actually a little bit suffering
^><^ <- so I've to smile like this
^_^ <- after orthodontics, more confident ^_^ Banzai~ Braces~ ^_^ celebrating 2nd anniversary of my braces ^_^ and going to 'uninstall' soon ^_^ Yay ^_^

=.=|||

Monday, June 5, 2006

Boring Sem Break... ZZZ...

*sigh* *sigh* *sigh* o_o||| Semester break have already started and I'm very boring staying at hometown. Everyday are just the same: eat, read, sleep, or eat, sleep, eat, sleep. But fortunately I've planned something to do this few weeks, at least I'll not bored to death. Ahh.. actually it's a relief that exam has over, last few weeks I had the most suffering week ever.

Who to blame... of course that's me.. hehe.. and yea... long time no blogging already =p After joining cls, I feel that I'm growing more and more, I've learn more things and the art of life. Being one of this family is great though. I had a great time together with all the quan wu friends. Kinda miss them all... ^_^ (feel kinda girlish in this sentence...)

It had been a long time since I've read some novel that could touch my heart. That feeling is somewhat sad and that feeling remained in my brain for next few weeks. I almost cried because of that. Amazingly I found some similarity or situations between the story and me. If not I'll not be that crazy until reading every part and pieces of it from the net, while I'm still having exam next few days.. *.* Guess my exam's result will be affected by that I think. I knew that is fiction, but yet I'm fascinated by its perfection, its flawless plot and events. And I'm really really down after that...

Sad though, these few days there is another thing popped in my mind. (*guess being boring in home will bring some negative effect including thinking of something negatively... =.=) The thing I mention just now is that I'm denying my past. I don't even greet my old friend, although not really close, yet pretending not to see them. I even think that my past is a failure. And I'm a failure, a defective child. And no one will guide me in my road but there is only me.

And not only this, I'm getting more and more individualistic, because I always think that I can do things more faster if I'm alone, and things will be better. But I forgot something that's even more precious... Hehe.. I guess it's hard for me to understand myself, not to say other people... So basically, I'm really a weirdo, even I don't know what I wanted to do. But sometimes those uncertainties will suddenly dissappeared when I mix with some friends in Quan Wu, I knew I'm born to have fun and take care of everyone. That's ideally.. hehe.. in realistic, no ^_^|||.

But guess it's time for me to change! HooHei CHANGE! Wakakaka~~~

^_^ Basically I'm a ghost, or maybe someday, I'll dissappeared in this world, while having no one notice about my existance. I'll dissappear... someday...

zzz... I wanted to go to Taiwan~
zzz... I wanted to go to Hong Kong~ -O-
Anyone? =P

Saturday, June 3, 2006

Good Charlotte: My Bloody Valentine


"My Bloody Valentine"

Oh, my love
Please don't cry
I'll wash my bloody hands and
We'll start a new life


I ripped out
His throat
And called you on the telephone
To take off
My disguise
Just in time to hear you cry when you...


You mourn the death of your bloody valentine
The night he died
You mourn the death of your bloody valentine
One last time


Singin'...


Oh, my love
Please don't cry
I'll wash my bloody hands and
We'll start a new life
I don't know much at all
I don't know wrong from right
All I know is that I love you tonight


There was
Police and
Flashing lights
The rain came down so hard that night and the
Headlines read
A lover died
No tell-tale heart was left to find when you...


You mourn the death of your bloody valentine
The night he died
You mourn the death of your bloody valentine
One last time


Singin'...


Oh, my love
Please don't cry
I'll wash my bloody hands and
We'll start a new life
I don't know much at all
I don't know wrong from right
All I know is that I love you tonight


Tonight


He dropped you off, I followed him home
Then I, I stood outside his bedroom window
Standing over him, he begged me not to do
What I knew I had to do cause I'm so in love with you


Oh, my love
Please don't cry
I'll wash my bloody hands and
We'll start a new life
I don't know much at all
I don't know wrong from right
All I know is that I love you tonight
Tonight