Now did I understand the struggle
that everyone has made over their life,
and you wouldn't understand if you weren't put under such condition or circumstance.

It's pushing you forward,
the frustration.
the hesitation and eagerness to explore further.

But you could not.
Again due to circumstances.

Let my mind be free.
And once again learn to love again.

May I?

We could be sarcastic all the while we could, 
and we could be speak satirically doing things freely;
enjoy the moment where you're free roaming outside; go venture to different countries or experience different things;
try different foods and spend all the money.
Yet everything goes down to basics.
Things you were given, or blessed, don't take it for granted.
Take care the people you cared the most if you still can.
Be responsible.
Grow up and be like a man. Bear the burden and in charge of your family, your parents.
Ignore those relatives, who bad mouth about you and your family. Ignore the gossips, where your parents brought you, ask them to stay strong. Teach them like how they taught you before. Guide them to lightness instead of darkness.

Yes I'm having this sin. What did I do all the while? Leaving them like that. Guide your brothers and peers. Show them the light. Be the light. Be the one to move on. And don't let the sin entangle you and engulf you into darkness.
Don't be ignorant.
Be you.

－很多东西懒惰做，做了又道不是。

－对身边的人漠不关心，对周遭不敏感。

－常避免会遇到困难的事情。

－少对人打招呼，称呼人少，说人是非多。

－不是笨，是选择不反应。

－不立刻解决问题。

－成功的人靠努力，有的靠运气，有的靠智慧。

－事在人为。

An urgency to change,

the way where life going through evolution, through stress, through needs; though doesn't happen all at once, yet anyhow it does move, little by little. Change is good, change is everything.

奈何不了的现实，就以不智者继续活下去。

不闻不问，不应不答，不理不睬。

The more you lived, the less you would feel excited about life. Keep excitement going on and love what you living for.

Sometimes we don't even know we are the one who're pulling the strings like unintended without realising it causes fluctuation around you. Or maybe you're the one who tripped over the strings and wham the shit out of everyone.

Checklist for this coming November & December:
- Fallout 4
- Starcraft II Legacy of the Void
- Need for Speed (reboot)
- Hunger Games Mockingjay part 2
- Star Wars: The Force Awakens

When you thought one single module like Login/Register could be easy, it is actually not, dependency: authentication method, DB setup, backend handling, JSON, token/cookies/session, connection handling, UI handling & animation.

There is one day, you did told me to upgrade and enhance my wisdom; instead of focusing of nonsense stuff. And the world isn't about these things. But another day, you're telling me to try on these again. So, is that the real you, or it supposed to be like that? Carry on and flow with the current?

http://25.109.45.160:9091/transmission/web/

raspberry pi :/

We are having this dilemma, it is easy to create a common enemy to unite all, it is easy too to swirl away the supports by using religion as weapon; so when people are confused, so they just let it be. No change. If you asked me, I'm pretty scared of change too.

States of fear.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military%E2%80%93industrial_complex
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politico-media_complex

As you garners more control, as it may seemed; it is actually pushing the other way around. And thing falters quickly beyond grasp when you hold things too tightly, like sand, and loses over the state of equilibrium, creating imbalance over the entire system.

Project:

Back then in Human Development course,
there is a stage of life where you get identity confusion,
some people will go travel to find back themselves,
it doesn't happen within timeframe of 13 - 19 years old,
there are a few times when this will happen in one's life,
for example like after graduation, or after working for a few years,
you starts to question about the purpose of life, and tidy back your rationale behind the meaning of life.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erikson's_stages_of_psychosocial_development

以前，看一本书或看一篇文章，你会领悟到这一点；
十年后，你会领悟到的和以前的那个点有所不同。
到底是你成长了，还是你变了？

Is there a limit towards any challenge you faced? How would you define it as a real challenge?

Yes, it is hard to set a certain threshold and follow the routine you planned repetitively, but without it the bar height will fall lower and lower and gradually follows the way you planned it, no expectation at all. While on the other hand, having a strict routine causes you to lose your enthusiasm as you're bounded by the rules you set, you feel challenged, limited by protocols and in repeating manner for each and every cycles before starting to get bored.

How to balance it? You define it.

"We would think that the choices we make now is what would be best for the future, yet in the end we will need to adhere to circumstances when things went south. And we told ourselves, this was the path we chose, there's no turning back, next thing we know, we let regret defines us.

I was reluctant to plan for the future because I do not trust myself to live that long. I have let my youth slipped in exchange for the unnecessaries. And I felt it diminishing as we speak, yet I'm too far down the road to turn back. Time is tickling. I guess that's it.

My worldview is bleak, I know. But nobody's perfect."

-- Christopher Caine

(1) Propose a philosophy of life and MAKE people AGREE with you, thus feeling self contented.
(2) Make NO CHANGE in life, putting EXCUSES, and let day passes.
(3) Expect others RESPECTING YOU first while you show no gratitude to what others has made for you.
(4) Share quote posts in FB, and assume you HAVE changed.

很多时候，最讨厌的一些东西，
往往是自己哪片黑色地带，
还有自己不足的地方。