觉得超感动滴。。。＿|￣|○
http://www.geocities.co.jp/Milkyway-Aquarius/7075/index.html
Monday, January 30, 2006
IvonoxEstashia log 003
I can't sleep.
I was having nightmares last few days. Probably thinking about too much things before I sleep. I worry and I'm sad, I'm down. Things are getting complicated and I can't understand them all.
@ My ability to comprehend something is somehow weak and everytime I'm making people fed up with me. Then I'm scared to talk to them again. I cared too much what people said, what people talk, and what will be their reaction. I'm too sensitive and everytime I'm making myself nervous.
@ I'm thinking too much.
@ I'm thinking too much about my future. I wanted everything to be perfect. I knew that will never be going to happen.
@ I'm thinking too much.
@ Thus I can't sleep.
I can't sleep.
I can't sleep..
I can't sleep...
I wanted to sleep... =.="
Ok, I'm trying to sleep now... (*suddenly Madonna's song - Hung Up flashed in my mind*)
Good night... ... ...
I was having nightmares last few days. Probably thinking about too much things before I sleep. I worry and I'm sad, I'm down. Things are getting complicated and I can't understand them all.
@ My ability to comprehend something is somehow weak and everytime I'm making people fed up with me. Then I'm scared to talk to them again. I cared too much what people said, what people talk, and what will be their reaction. I'm too sensitive and everytime I'm making myself nervous.
@ I'm thinking too much.
@ I'm thinking too much about my future. I wanted everything to be perfect. I knew that will never be going to happen.
@ I'm thinking too much.
@ Thus I can't sleep.
I can't sleep.
I can't sleep..
I can't sleep...
I wanted to sleep... =.="
Ok, I'm trying to sleep now... (*suddenly Madonna's song - Hung Up flashed in my mind*)
Good night... ... ...
Friday, January 27, 2006
SidMeierAlphaCentauri Quotes
##Opening Quotation
#OPENING
Therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the garden of Eden.
He drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden
of Eden Cherubim, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to
keep the way of the tree of life.
^
^ -- The Conclave Bible,
^ Datalinks
##Transcendent Thought
#TECH88
^ Eternity lies ahead of us, and behind.
^ Have you drunk your fill?
^
^ -- Lady Deirdre Skye,
^ "Conversations with Planet", Epilogue
##The Ascetic Virtues
#PROJECT13
Learn to overcome the crass demands of flesh and bone, for they
warp the matrix through which we perceive the world. Extend your
awareness outward, beyond the self of body, to embrace the self
of group and the self of humanity. The goals of the group and the
greater race are transcendent, and to embrace them is to achieve
enlightenment.
^
^ -- Chairman Sheng-ji Yang,
^ "Essays on Mind and Matter"
##Ascent to Transcendence
#PROJECT32
No longer mere earthbeings and planetbeings are we, but bright
children of the stars! And together we shall dance in and out
of ten billion years, celebrating the gift of consciousness until
the stars themselves grow cold and weary, and our thoughts turn
again to the beginning.
^
^ -- Lady Deirdre Skye,
^ "Conversations with Planet"
#OPENING
Therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the garden of Eden.
He drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden
of Eden Cherubim, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to
keep the way of the tree of life.
^
^ -- The Conclave Bible,
^ Datalinks
##Transcendent Thought
#TECH88
^ Eternity lies ahead of us, and behind.
^ Have you drunk your fill?
^
^ -- Lady Deirdre Skye,
^ "Conversations with Planet", Epilogue
##The Ascetic Virtues
#PROJECT13
Learn to overcome the crass demands of flesh and bone, for they
warp the matrix through which we perceive the world. Extend your
awareness outward, beyond the self of body, to embrace the self
of group and the self of humanity. The goals of the group and the
greater race are transcendent, and to embrace them is to achieve
enlightenment.
^
^ -- Chairman Sheng-ji Yang,
^ "Essays on Mind and Matter"
##Ascent to Transcendence
#PROJECT32
No longer mere earthbeings and planetbeings are we, but bright
children of the stars! And together we shall dance in and out
of ten billion years, celebrating the gift of consciousness until
the stars themselves grow cold and weary, and our thoughts turn
again to the beginning.
^
^ -- Lady Deirdre Skye,
^ "Conversations with Planet"
Monday, January 23, 2006
IvonoxEstashia log 002
Stereotyping.
People always have this bad habit. It's same to everyone. They always assume something and make hypothesis about you.
I always have stress to speak with this type of people. They assume you're old you, treat you as old you. Assumption are always made up with reasoning, assumption without logic reason gives nothing but rubbish.
There are always have people who always have the bad ego in their attitude. They're self-centered and never concern on something small. The effect is bad, you can hardly talking to them, they thought themself are talking 'high-level-language', but they just s**ks. I hate them.
Some people who always thought they knew all about you. But still, in their mind, you are always old you. So they'll always critic you without reasons. They thought you're a rich fella who just know how to spend money. They thought you don't know how to handle anything or situations. They're stuborn, yet stupid. I hate them.
They s**ks. I hate them all.
Just don't want to spend anymore time thinking what I'm doing wrong.
Not my fault, it's their fault.
Go to hell. F88k you.
People always have this bad habit. It's same to everyone. They always assume something and make hypothesis about you.
I always have stress to speak with this type of people. They assume you're old you, treat you as old you. Assumption are always made up with reasoning, assumption without logic reason gives nothing but rubbish.
There are always have people who always have the bad ego in their attitude. They're self-centered and never concern on something small. The effect is bad, you can hardly talking to them, they thought themself are talking 'high-level-language', but they just s**ks. I hate them.
Some people who always thought they knew all about you. But still, in their mind, you are always old you. So they'll always critic you without reasons. They thought you're a rich fella who just know how to spend money. They thought you don't know how to handle anything or situations. They're stuborn, yet stupid. I hate them.
They s**ks. I hate them all.
Just don't want to spend anymore time thinking what I'm doing wrong.
Not my fault, it's their fault.
Go to hell. F88k you.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
The Next Princess - Blissonic
Lol... of course I can't read this thai language. But this song is nice and interesting, please download it: http://www.savefile.com/projects2.php?fid=7952676&pid=610692. It mention about a princess who're going to be rescued by a prince. And she waited and waited for him... All the lyrics are interesting and so do the musics as well. This song has been at the top of a couple of chart including [v]channel. Anyone pls help find the mtv? ^_^.
Blissonic
เพลง: เจ้าหญิงคนต่อไป
*เนิ่นนานที่ฉันยังแปลกใจ เหตุใดเจ้าหญิงต้องรอเจ้าชาย
แล้ววันหนึ่งตัวฉันได้มีโอกาสได้เดินเข้าไป
ข้างในปราสาทที่มีเจ้าหญิง ถูกขังอยู่บนหอคอย
ด้วยเวทมนตร์ที่เหมือนไม่มีเหตุผล ของใครสักคน
และต้องทุกข์ทน จนกว่าที่จะมีใคร ใครสักคน
ต้องทนอีกนานแค่ไหน ต้องทนอีกนานเท่าไหร่
แล้ววันหนึ่งก็มีเจ้าชาย ที่ไม่เกรงกลัวกับอันตราย
กวัดแกว่างดาบคู่กาย หมายจะทำลายคำสาป
ทันใดที่เจ้าหญิงได้ยินดังนั้น ก็วิ่งออกไปที่ริมระเบียง
หวังเพียงที่จะได้พบ เจ้าชายที่รอมาแสนนาน
การรอคอยคงจบวันนี้ พอทีกับความทรมาน
เจ้าหญิงรอคอยเจ้าชายอยู่บนนี้ รอคอยเจ้าชายมาเนิ่นนานเต็มที
วันนี้จะเป็นวันสุดท้าย วันที่เวทมนตร์หมดความหมาย
วันที่จะไปจากหอคอยนี้ได้ ขึ้นอยู่กับเจ้าชาย
เจ้าชายรูปงามไม่กลัวปีศาจร้าย มีทั้งกายและใจที่เข้มแข็ง
ปีศาจร้ายกำลังเริ่มอ่อนแรง ถูกแทงเข้าตรงกลางหัวใจ
เจ้าหญิงตะโกนเธอรออยู่บนนี้ เจ้าชายแหงนมองขึ้นมาในทันใด
ปีศาจร้ายยังไม่ทันจะสิ้นใจ ลอบทำร้ายเจ้าชายในทันใด
และแล้วเรื่องราวมันเริ่มเลวร้าย จากรอยยิ้มที่เคยมีเริ่มจางหาย
เลือดไหลซึมออกจากกาย เจ้าชายทรุดลงตรงพื้นดิน
เจ้าหญิงนิ่งไปในทันใด เจ้าหญิงจะทำอย่างไรต่อจากนี้
เจ้าหญิงจะทำอย่างไรต่อไปดี เมื่อไม่มีเจ้าชาย
(Solo)
เจ้าหญิงจะไม่รอคอยเจ้าชายแล้ว จะไม่รอคอยอยู่บนนี้
จะข้ามกำแพง เพื่อจะไปหา เจ้าหญิงกำลังจะไปหา
กำลังจะเดินทางข้ามนภา ไปหาเจ้าชาย
และเรื่องนี้ก็เดินมาจนวันสุดท้าย ไม่เหลือเจ้าหญิงเจ้าชายแล้ว
ไม่เหลืออะไร นอกจากตัวฉัน ที่ยืนมองดูอยู่บนนี้
อยู่บนหอคอยที่ไม่มีทางออก ไม่มีทางออก
ฉันเป็นเจ้าหญิงคนต่อไป......
( * )
For a long time that i still surprise, why does the princess must wait for the prince.
Til one day that i've an oportunity to walk through.
Walk to the castle that princess was imprison on the top of tower.
With a black magic of someone. and she was very suffer.
Til the day that she'll meet someone. but when?
Till this day the prince is come here and swing his sword to break the curse, with brave and never scare any danger.
Suddenly after the princess known that. she run out to balcony with a little hope to meet him. today is the end of waitng and no more pain.
The princess is waiting here. and wait for too much time.
But now it's over. the magic is meaningless. the day to go outside.
It's up to the prince. The handsome prince who got brave and strong soul and never scare anythings.
Now the devil is going to weak. and a sword of the pince is pierce in the middle of devil's heart.
The princess is shout that she waiting here. the prince is look up suddenly to hers.
But the devil still breathing so it sneak to hurt him.
and now the story is going bad. And smile is fadding away.
A blood bleeding and now the prince sinking on the ground. the princess is motionless imedietly
How does she do from now on? How to? when she doen't has a prince.
The pricess won't wait for the prince from here again. she'll arcoss the wall to find him. she's going to cross the sky. and now the last chapter is coming. no more prince or princess. no more anything except myself that standing on this tower. it's no way out. it's no way out.
i'm the next princess ....
Blissonic
เพลง: เจ้าหญิงคนต่อไป
*เนิ่นนานที่ฉันยังแปลกใจ เหตุใดเจ้าหญิงต้องรอเจ้าชาย
แล้ววันหนึ่งตัวฉันได้มีโอกาสได้เดินเข้าไป
ข้างในปราสาทที่มีเจ้าหญิง ถูกขังอยู่บนหอคอย
ด้วยเวทมนตร์ที่เหมือนไม่มีเหตุผล ของใครสักคน
และต้องทุกข์ทน จนกว่าที่จะมีใคร ใครสักคน
ต้องทนอีกนานแค่ไหน ต้องทนอีกนานเท่าไหร่
แล้ววันหนึ่งก็มีเจ้าชาย ที่ไม่เกรงกลัวกับอันตราย
กวัดแกว่างดาบคู่กาย หมายจะทำลายคำสาป
ทันใดที่เจ้าหญิงได้ยินดังนั้น ก็วิ่งออกไปที่ริมระเบียง
หวังเพียงที่จะได้พบ เจ้าชายที่รอมาแสนนาน
การรอคอยคงจบวันนี้ พอทีกับความทรมาน
เจ้าหญิงรอคอยเจ้าชายอยู่บนนี้ รอคอยเจ้าชายมาเนิ่นนานเต็มที
วันนี้จะเป็นวันสุดท้าย วันที่เวทมนตร์หมดความหมาย
วันที่จะไปจากหอคอยนี้ได้ ขึ้นอยู่กับเจ้าชาย
เจ้าชายรูปงามไม่กลัวปีศาจร้าย มีทั้งกายและใจที่เข้มแข็ง
ปีศาจร้ายกำลังเริ่มอ่อนแรง ถูกแทงเข้าตรงกลางหัวใจ
เจ้าหญิงตะโกนเธอรออยู่บนนี้ เจ้าชายแหงนมองขึ้นมาในทันใด
ปีศาจร้ายยังไม่ทันจะสิ้นใจ ลอบทำร้ายเจ้าชายในทันใด
และแล้วเรื่องราวมันเริ่มเลวร้าย จากรอยยิ้มที่เคยมีเริ่มจางหาย
เลือดไหลซึมออกจากกาย เจ้าชายทรุดลงตรงพื้นดิน
เจ้าหญิงนิ่งไปในทันใด เจ้าหญิงจะทำอย่างไรต่อจากนี้
เจ้าหญิงจะทำอย่างไรต่อไปดี เมื่อไม่มีเจ้าชาย
(Solo)
เจ้าหญิงจะไม่รอคอยเจ้าชายแล้ว จะไม่รอคอยอยู่บนนี้
จะข้ามกำแพง เพื่อจะไปหา เจ้าหญิงกำลังจะไปหา
กำลังจะเดินทางข้ามนภา ไปหาเจ้าชาย
และเรื่องนี้ก็เดินมาจนวันสุดท้าย ไม่เหลือเจ้าหญิงเจ้าชายแล้ว
ไม่เหลืออะไร นอกจากตัวฉัน ที่ยืนมองดูอยู่บนนี้
อยู่บนหอคอยที่ไม่มีทางออก ไม่มีทางออก
ฉันเป็นเจ้าหญิงคนต่อไป......
( * )
For a long time that i still surprise, why does the princess must wait for the prince.
Til one day that i've an oportunity to walk through.
Walk to the castle that princess was imprison on the top of tower.
With a black magic of someone. and she was very suffer.
Til the day that she'll meet someone. but when?
Till this day the prince is come here and swing his sword to break the curse, with brave and never scare any danger.
Suddenly after the princess known that. she run out to balcony with a little hope to meet him. today is the end of waitng and no more pain.
The princess is waiting here. and wait for too much time.
But now it's over. the magic is meaningless. the day to go outside.
It's up to the prince. The handsome prince who got brave and strong soul and never scare anythings.
Now the devil is going to weak. and a sword of the pince is pierce in the middle of devil's heart.
The princess is shout that she waiting here. the prince is look up suddenly to hers.
But the devil still breathing so it sneak to hurt him.
and now the story is going bad. And smile is fadding away.
A blood bleeding and now the prince sinking on the ground. the princess is motionless imedietly
How does she do from now on? How to? when she doen't has a prince.
The pricess won't wait for the prince from here again. she'll arcoss the wall to find him. she's going to cross the sky. and now the last chapter is coming. no more prince or princess. no more anything except myself that standing on this tower. it's no way out. it's no way out.
i'm the next princess ....
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
IvonoxEstashia log 001
That day after the JLPT 4th grade exam, I felt relieve. I don't know why I like Japanese that much, and I don't know that what is my purpose to learn it. Yet, I like it very much. And then after exam, I've put aside all the stuff and continued returning back for my academic study.
I've learnt much these days, I've learnt to accept, and I've learnt to deny. Somehow, sometimes I feel that I have the chance to accept, but sometimes there is not. The feeling of grabing hold of something is that imaginative, untouchable. If you grabbed hold of it, you wouldn't know what would be happen next. But if you didn't, maybe you'll lose a chance. There is no such rule which state that something good is always good for you.
I knew that I didn't have a good communication skill. And after all these, I felt that it's not that I don't really have it, but I'm just simply don't want to admit, don't want to accept and don't want to improve, and yet simply assume that I'll not improving anymore. But things do change, world around you change, so I just can't say that something is static continue to be static, this is no physics. Because we are dynamic.
Everything is dynamic.
I'm a little childish sometimes. I'm not always speak the truth. I'm always influenced by people, providing that there is reasons and the reasons will always overwhelme my thinking. I don't have my own stand (even though I really have). Because my stand is always weak and breakable.
Once there was a light that always guided me. But somehow the light keep fading and I keep on falling. Everytime I fall I feel the pain, the pain keep on reminding me not to repeat any mistake. But in reality everything is different. They are not ideal, and we can't assume any ideal case. Because they are no reality.
Just like my recent case, a tissue factory called me to change and change my design because everytime there was a technical problems. But I really wanted to learn, wanted to learn about the printing stuff. While I edited the design, I again learnt some new things, and now he said he wanted to abandon the design, how could I accept that? I was trying my best to pass up my work, but yet he wanted everything to be perfect. Or maybe some other time I'll redo everything and pass up again, not sure whether the president have already told them to stop everything... Hopefully I still can pass up my final technical-problem-free design...
That was my work before going back hometown here.
And now, it's holiday finally. Just wanted to keep away all my pressure and stress out of me and enjoy this moment. And I'm upgrading my Japanese by reading the compositions. And yea, forgot to mention that since I'm here in Malaysia, the chance to absorb it is very small, and that's what I called untouchable, and imaginative.
And yea, I didn't know that since when I started to hate this place... (or maybe influence?? lol...) I hate Malaysia, I hate my hometown... And you can call I discriminate type of people, but I'm getting more and more bored to this place already. Perhaps I do not belongs to here...
There is just too much out there to learn.
Am I overreacted?
Am I sound like an old-tale-telling folk?
I just speak my heart.
CNY is just around the corner, I don't have any feeling about it. Every year the event is just alike, they're all the same. Visiting people, people observe what had changed, and what remain unchanged, people complement to each other, people wanted to eat, people wanted to earn, while I don't really feel any thing great. I wanted to be alone. but actually my heart told me that I wanted something more precious. Mmm... what was my resolution for 2006 again ar?... change?... nah, I've change a lot since I left secondary... dream? hehe.. wanted to earn a lot of money? Nah... I can't really earn money now... wanted to know more friends? maybe... travel? Iksh... again.. no money... hehe.. this is like an cycle... no earn money = no travel = boring. money = travel and shopping = happie ^_^ zzzz....
So what's next that will happen to me in 2006?
No one knows...
(But I'm the one who make decisions... what should I choose?)
Happy holidays, and happy chinese new year.
I've learnt much these days, I've learnt to accept, and I've learnt to deny. Somehow, sometimes I feel that I have the chance to accept, but sometimes there is not. The feeling of grabing hold of something is that imaginative, untouchable. If you grabbed hold of it, you wouldn't know what would be happen next. But if you didn't, maybe you'll lose a chance. There is no such rule which state that something good is always good for you.
I knew that I didn't have a good communication skill. And after all these, I felt that it's not that I don't really have it, but I'm just simply don't want to admit, don't want to accept and don't want to improve, and yet simply assume that I'll not improving anymore. But things do change, world around you change, so I just can't say that something is static continue to be static, this is no physics. Because we are dynamic.
Everything is dynamic.
I'm a little childish sometimes. I'm not always speak the truth. I'm always influenced by people, providing that there is reasons and the reasons will always overwhelme my thinking. I don't have my own stand (even though I really have). Because my stand is always weak and breakable.
Once there was a light that always guided me. But somehow the light keep fading and I keep on falling. Everytime I fall I feel the pain, the pain keep on reminding me not to repeat any mistake. But in reality everything is different. They are not ideal, and we can't assume any ideal case. Because they are no reality.
Just like my recent case, a tissue factory called me to change and change my design because everytime there was a technical problems. But I really wanted to learn, wanted to learn about the printing stuff. While I edited the design, I again learnt some new things, and now he said he wanted to abandon the design, how could I accept that? I was trying my best to pass up my work, but yet he wanted everything to be perfect. Or maybe some other time I'll redo everything and pass up again, not sure whether the president have already told them to stop everything... Hopefully I still can pass up my final technical-problem-free design...
That was my work before going back hometown here.
And now, it's holiday finally. Just wanted to keep away all my pressure and stress out of me and enjoy this moment. And I'm upgrading my Japanese by reading the compositions. And yea, forgot to mention that since I'm here in Malaysia, the chance to absorb it is very small, and that's what I called untouchable, and imaginative.
And yea, I didn't know that since when I started to hate this place... (or maybe influence?? lol...) I hate Malaysia, I hate my hometown... And you can call I discriminate type of people, but I'm getting more and more bored to this place already. Perhaps I do not belongs to here...
There is just too much out there to learn.
Am I overreacted?
Am I sound like an old-tale-telling folk?
I just speak my heart.
CNY is just around the corner, I don't have any feeling about it. Every year the event is just alike, they're all the same. Visiting people, people observe what had changed, and what remain unchanged, people complement to each other, people wanted to eat, people wanted to earn, while I don't really feel any thing great. I wanted to be alone. but actually my heart told me that I wanted something more precious. Mmm... what was my resolution for 2006 again ar?... change?... nah, I've change a lot since I left secondary... dream? hehe.. wanted to earn a lot of money? Nah... I can't really earn money now... wanted to know more friends? maybe... travel? Iksh... again.. no money... hehe.. this is like an cycle... no earn money = no travel = boring. money = travel and shopping = happie ^_^ zzzz....
So what's next that will happen to me in 2006?
No one knows...
(But I'm the one who make decisions... what should I choose?)
Happy holidays, and happy chinese new year.
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