Kindness is a friend and also enemy. I am just want to be kind without intension of hurting others. However, people don't just look at this. Even thought you've done nothing, you're actually will makes people angry. There are people who likes to 'use' kind people and rely them in their rest of their life. This is not tactics, there is no border between beautiful and ugly. It's just what is the content in your heart, they will know one day. The feeling towards your friend is through your true heart, not to be acted. Don't just so straight forward that just girls, it's the matter of friends. i don't believe in one night stand, that just works for looking fella who just rely on their appearance. They have no self esteem, no self ego, no self concept. Just believe that, everything should be out in your truth heart and to be truthful. sometimes also have to defend yourself to some offence sometimes.
Personality is shaped from ways of your thinking, your ways of expressing yourself, your appearance, your ideas, your points of views towards everything. Without personality makes you nerd. So that's why there are always have invisible border between out-going people and people who likes to 'eat' book everyday.
When you fear something, you're actually not, you fear yourself. When you're happy, actually you're not, you're sad, you sad that you're losing something you do not. When you're contented, you never do, you just feel that you need more. You need more than you wished... it's always like that... Sometimes there are always something happened to stop you from proceeded in your life. It's Problem and Obstacle. Obstacle is meant to be solved, not to be skipped. You solved it you gained, that means you're more mature. But sometimes in the meantime, there are pressure exists when those obstacles accumulated in front of you. Isn't that obvious? Your greatest enemy is yourself. Be brave to stand for it.
In other words also, staying in this life is like staying in front of the tv show watching, you've no objection of any displeasure, you just can't actually, when you tried to search, actually when you search it and you've achieve it you feel like nothing, then after that you wait for nothing, waiting for demise actually, a life is just a cycle, a cycle that can never have return back, and you just can't like in the tv show pretending to be the hero, neither you can in a chance, you're not like in PC games which can be saved or loaded. Your memory and you is in oneself. It's just once...
To me, eternity is searched, not to be waited. Time pass by, and maybe, there will be no one recognise you. The world seem to be forgotten, and not warm anymore. What am doing here? Why am I here for? Who are responsible for this? maybe no one... What is my purpose of life? to search for eternity? Perhaps this is just a dream... If I awake, I'll be an super entity... Without pressure, without desperation, without agony... Just a memory of dream... Perhaps...
fact is, this is the wonderful life and you've earned it...
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