Just slacking..

Could you imagine, life with full of codes..
Your action, translated into logic conditions..
if - else - if - else..
and
repetitions..

You're becoming ROBOT-alized..

空で飛んでいたい、
君へ。。。

- Dsgn01 -

恶性循环

不理白不理
等到你觉醒后
要回去再从来的时候
它已经结疤留印了

十月中
雨天 雨天 雨天

偶又染了头发~颜色蛮暗的。

悠悠冉冉又过了九月
十月的落寞景色应该不会重来了吧
但愿。

この世に生きる者同士、
命の重さはお互い同じと思し召し、
何卒平等に平等に。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　（眉山・さだまさし）

Firstly.. Thanks for all your greetings and presents~~.. I like them very much.. although it has been days, weeks.. or months i didn't see u all.. but u all still have heart to send me all these.. haha.. very paiseh..

Thank you all..

And also, special thanks to someone who gave me this --- >..


^____^

learned to cook the japanese dried seaweed => "芽ひじき"
but someone say taste not nice.. =.=

What have I done in last few months..

June:
- Went to Japan joining homestay programme for around 9 days
- Interviewed by Panasonic

July:
- Accepted by Panasonic and worked under PRDCM, Cyberjaya
- Undergo training arranged by company, including C# training, CMMI process training, and UML training.
* Moved stuffs from hometown to Equine, Seri Kembangan

August:
- Assigned 1 project (small feature only though =.=) [for fresh start]
- Getting familiar with company process and review process
- Self training with: C#, C++, Design templates, Process and others
* Convocation at 10 August where everyone gathers
* Went to Melacca at 23, 24 August for 8du Concert
+ Jess' birthday

September:
- Self training with: C#, C++, Wiki and others
* Went to Melacca for QuanWu gathering at 6, 7 September
+ Henry's birthday
= New project coming soon =.=|||

Um... listening to the song: 蒲公英的约定 reminds me of the days when I was back there in MMU hovering and wandering my every decision back there. Yea, miss the days, even these few weeks I was dreaming the life of being university student (which was kinda dumb back there during beta or gamma year). Walking the same path, meeting the same people, again and again in my dream where we are having fun together, learning together..

Learning... absorbing... and expressing, it's a rhythm of life. Our way of expressing ourselves reflect our identity and our behavior, in which if you heard someone always keep on saying "I" and "me" reflects that that person is self-centered and perhaps someone holds a high position. Somehow I feel I'm those kind of people because the object I always conveyed is "I" or "me" despite I'm not holding any critical positions (yah, I'm self centered =.=).

I'm not sure where I found the information about this but it's sure that people will get irritated if you keep on saying "I", "me", "I", "me". People aren't asking about you, people aren't concert about what happened to you, so just keep it to yourself, please! !

Okay, back to the miss-the-old-timer topic, yea, hopes tonight I'll be back at the same place and same time, again~

Good nite~ *(^_^)*, hope it'll end soon..

mmm... can't sleep...
went thru an old old blog from my memories -> panpig
I'm wondering how he can sustain so much pain and still go on with his memories,
life goes on..

Well.. maybe I don't deserve it.

People are talking differently from what they're telling physically,
what they think,
what they act..
I'm hoping I don't started out the word before the world started crumbling with pieces of blues.

Uhh..
Nah, hopes to live the life to fullest~ yay. ^_^

From friday:

Wahh... it was the first time working till 4am in the morning.
Friday was the terrible day, it followed that after a bug had been found before release and soon "attracted" more and more bugs in the programs... Gheeze...
I was hoping to have the buffet at Shogun with colleagues.

Ahh.. nvm, I still have the chance on tomorrow (?today).
Way to go, Shogun~

By the way, Wall-E is nice.. but lack of something... |||
I watched it with Selin@, W3ng, JESz,
by the time i reached home, it was already 10pm.
blur while driving my way home having an empty stomach.

hoping to start my project this month, doing some preparation for it too..
hoping to work in sg too but babi said sg having crisis currently,
or perhaps I should staying here for some period first and learn something..

It wasn't that bad, after all.

P@n@s0nic's {Pr!)_(M} working lifestyle is this:
- You'll get a flexible timetable arrangement, but normally you won't because the deadline are strict
- It's quite stress working under the deadlines (maybe depending on the project/s)
- The working environment is not that friendly as it seemed (every company do have politics rite?) Okie... I was wrong... They are friendly... I think too much.
- We can learn a lot here compared to other company "In Malaysia"
- It's a bit stress because it is Jpn3s3 company? Normally all the companies have stress, not just PRD
- Now if I'm under contract, I can't claim OT allowance, but the project does need me for OT, is that a contradict? Does it means I *don't really have to OT for my project?*, normally under strict deadlines, and again, you won't do that..
- Me and other colleagues are fine, (especially with same gang), but for those I'm anti.. then soli la.. You all sucks, stupid, brainless and selfish. Most ppl who study with first class grade are selfish rite? Lolx... I gotta rephrase this... after 2 months of working... changed my perspective.

What did I studied and still studying?
- CMMI model, important for deciding a company's success or failure (CMMI = Capability Maturing Model Integration) and continuous process.
- Process Training, introduced the organisation's process and the protocols.
- C#.NET training and framework study.
- UML training.
- Coding design and pattern and applications.

Something extra:
- Relationship handling
- Stress handling.
- Colleague's relationship handling. (you'll face them... all the time, if minus the sleep time, is almost 2/3 of all the time)
- Time management.
- Misc (Something related to relationships, friends, item list, house keeping, and others)

ANd yea.. Sorry ya.. sorrie to keep u worry and worry. I'll try to learn how to manage myself better coz I looks weak outside,.. and inside too. If we have the time we'll go to somewhere nice k? Away from work, away from stress and away from sadness. Cheer up ^_^

Miss the days when we were yum-cha-ing in VGN
Miss the days when we were going out having fun in Melacca
Miss the days when we went to Havana cafe
Miss the days when we having exams and stress of non-stop assignments
Miss the days when we were talking gossips
Miss the days when we were doing activities together,
buying stuffs, complaining this or that, pushing responsibilities..
Miss the days when we went traveling together
Miss the days when we were having dinner together
Miss the days when we rushed for Sushi-King Promotions
Miss the days.. and

Miss you all, guys and gals...

I knew the feeling now.
This is the feeling when I said something cruel to you.
It's the same feeling when you're being exiled and stayed alone.. helpless..
I'm sorry... for making the mistake, again and again.
I'm self-less.

Thank you for being understanding.

Something is hard and I couldn't possible accept it at one time,
I think I should throw away those pieces of burden,
one piece by one piece,
I just couldn't possibly take all of them in such instance.
Please give me some time to let go.

Probably some day..
Maybe it'll exist, someday..

Am I avoiding the possibility of it?

I'm not sure.
I just hope,
maybe one day, u'll be better.
maybe one day, u'll be the original self.

I don't want to become self-less.
I'm me,
remember?

Sometimes,
the hatred is advancing,
the love is deteriorating,
sometimes the hatred become love,
and love become hatred,
I'm not taking everything for granted,
and everything should be granted as I wish,
but I didn't urge or push it,
I just simply make an excuse and
say: It's the way it should be.

Is it?

I'm selfless.

You are yourself.

You didn't change at all,
since the first day I knew you.

I wanted to be better.

I wanted yourself to be better.

We're maintaining.
It's not a burden anymore,
we changed.

It's not a burden, it's something else.
When it's something else, I'm happy,
if it's not, I'll be sad,
it's not the simple equation anymore,
it's complex.

It's hard.

And I'm selfless.

Have been working for 1 week in Panasonic now...
quite boring actually,
but somehow I managed to sneak into conversation with colleagues.
Now undergo training.

Weekend spent my time at Wangsa Maju->
I can't believe I did travel from Equine to Wangsa Maju
My travelling started from:
__--> Equine -> SK -> Sungai Besi -> MRR2 -> Wangsa Maju (yay)

This week started the C# programming training ^_^

Long time din blogging until these few days...

Just back from_______ Japan!!!
Yea.. JAPAN!!!
I was so happy~... (although my face seemed motionless)

How was it? how was it?____ ->standard answer--->
The people are nice___ Just as what you watched in drama (seriously)
The food are superb___ Compared to HL milk in Malaysia makes u feeling vomit when u think of it..
The food are superb X 1000___ when you're back to Malaysia U won't go sushi king anymore...
The places are beautiful and gorgeous!!!___ clean and beautiful.. just like when you're back from Singapore to Johor Kastam, you'll see a lot (realll a lot) of garbages and black black spot... (?oil ink?)
The places i went are: Hekinan - Aichi, Oosaka, Kyoto, Nara.
Too bad I bought too few souvenir for you all.. I jus got 1/10 of the travel trip for shopping...
Gomen, gomen... seriously..

Now -> I'm working in Panasonic R&D Center in Cyberjaya...
Cyberjaya...
It's a piece of desert...
And cyberia,
it's a glass of water...
when you go there,
you need the glass of water in the desert...

But,
I've chosed Equine to stay.. lolx..
Cheaper,
I won't need to find the singleroom tat hard.. stupid cyberjaya market..
it's not an intellect city, it's the DOOMED TOMB, a dead city...
it's good that there is still have a Jusco... beside Equine...

WISH LIST:
PSP Slim/NDSL
Laptop VAIO Sony 11 hrs mode
Scholarship for Master in Japan
Passes my JLPT 2
Get a hybrid car... (stupid government shouldn't put HIGH tax on it.. said it only required rm20 for a week)
Get a cozy house staying with loved 1
A good and nice nice loved 1 (lolx)

"Quoted..."

U are not being childish...U are just in the process of learning..As long as we are willing to put some effort,,one by one,,bit by bit,,no one can say u are childish...Because u understand urself more than other ppl understand you,,,Because u know u did learn from the past....A lot of ppl in this world love you.

dont let a destructive criticism bring you down,,because i know clearly that criticism is not worth your time to think of it...

Love, is where u can shine....Its where ur shines will be appreciated...

hope u are willing to read what i wrote for you...

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

We're born to suffer, we're born to love, we're in one unity.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Shaping my thinking a bit...
I'm wrong,
I'm wrong,
I'm wrong...

After I've shouted for three times,
I'm still wrong.

I saw the dreamer's garden in front of me and..
I don't hesitate anymore and jump into the world,
that is not the real world neither.

I'm still wandering inside,
and I don't want to come out, and
I'm still wrong.

My eyes caught something,
that was a rabbit wearing glasses inside the garden jumping towards the black castle,
I followed.
I'm still wrong.

The rabbit turn around and to my utmost dispair,
I saw myself.
I'm my nightmare. And I'm wrong, in the end.

Shouldn't I care more?
Give in something, you'll obtain nothing.
Care for not only yourself, but within the border.
What is true and what is false.
You'll know some time...

I'm correct.