Forget about it ba..
Let it be done, in natural way.

The world is collapsing, trembling with utmost fears.
While I can't find a place to hide.
Ironic, isn't it?

Love is consists of Passion, Intimacy and Commitment, but what I feel?

Do you know the feeling when searching for your heart and didn't find any of my footsteps in any part of it? Do you know when I started to feel while you're getting colder and colder like the frozen ice? Never mention about your feeling, never talk about your recent activities, and then what I'm communicate for?

Maybe this is what i deserve after what you've been through these. I'm following your footsteps.

Your heart container is empty. While I'm shredded into pieces of nothingness.

Love is hard. I understand now.
















...


fears..

fears..

and fears..


and I'm in tears.. blues everywhere..
Meaningless without u.

Thank you for the anniversary, thank you for everything..
You're not teaching me these days, you're planting the heart which grown into ...

blossoms of flowers..
full of flowers..

just that the autumn comes.. late for it to blossom..

依恋，和眷恋不一样。
依恋，是依靠着的爱情，需要着支柱来呼吸新鲜空气，
到哪里都会跟到哪里，形影不离。
缺乏了另一方，都不行。

现实就是和所想象的，相差好远，好远。。
人变了，有些变得，很恐怖，有些，还保持在梦想世界，
和现实中，还保持着一段的距离。
我应该是在正中央吧，我想。
任何一方，都容纳不下我。
应该我是一个不配有情感的动物吧。

还是那一句：
一路，就是一步一步走下去！
绝对的一步一步！

not online for a month more, training,
anything please email to my gmail.

Perm my hair for a little brown, it's almost nothing, haha.. updates next time..
*sigh*, working working working~

You have no right to blame others because what ppl's doing is the exactly what your doing. Ppl exist for co-interact and taking care of each other. So, what's the matter? OK? No more complain!

Ok, three weeks have passed and I really have a *nice *nice company. Stupid company. WTF CCB KNN. *FIghTing MoRe 4 MoRe CoMpLeXxiTiieee, Sln said: The society will process you and you'll undergo the refinery process.. oops, not the refinery process but shd be the ugly process to the reality ok, Ivan, no more dreams! awake! AWAKE** Haha, so nice I'm still sleeping everyday nice bcoz nid to wake up every morning, else I'll become walking-dead, a real zombie.

Still have 2 months and a half to go~

Be realistic, be rational.

This is the lesson I'll be learning soon. I don't care whatsoever politics or any relationship complications, but this should be another phase of my life. Haha.. maybe people have already expanded this as one of their ability to control life. Ah... whatever..

Things come in their natural way. (maybe this is one of my excuses of learning myself)

By the way, Mei Shan called me yesterday, and she seemed very happy about passing through her sickness. Thanks god. lolx. I'm being sarcastic.. But it was a good thing that she can be able to get up and think what she wanted to do. For me? I think i'm lack of motivation lar.. lack of something or someone to push me in the back. (Don't back stab me ok, I didn't mean that)

And also, training session coming soon. (real soon)
Please throw a real big stone at me ok? I need some challenge~~~

Wonder how is Pui, MP, Vin, Dsmd, Ry, ELing d...
All the best for everything~ God bless..

I caught the reminiscent of me, and my past.. suddenly.
I asked myself, is this the end?

What have I done today?
Viewed the profile, about life, and the dawn of Britney in wikipedia..
Calculated the money to spend if I'm going for master oversea..
Calculated the age for me to get master..
Compared some people who've studied abroad for their master..
Watched grey's anatomy season 3 finale.. and the end of Meridith-Derek's relationship, and the end of Addison-Alex's, Christina-Burke's, George-Callie's.
(why did Meridith's father slapped her? It wasn't her fault..)

What the hell is going on today?
I wasn't care about relationship... I wasn't care about how the people achieve their glory or dawn of anything.. Come on, a life is just a cycle..

..
..

..
..

OK, Maybe I just.. too cared about them..
actually..

And this is the end..

BOOM!!

There you go, this is the exact moment where I'm wandering towards hell.
Way to go~ Database!!! Counting down 24 hours before the end of the world.

心配かけてごめんなさい．．
いつも　ありがとうございました！

静悄悄地来到了kl。。我猜想，应该没有人懂吧。

生日过了一个星期，很感谢朋友们的礼物，我真的有些许的被感动到。（感觉很棒滴说）多多益善，多多益善！！（我在讲啥？）有人已经在‘公布恋’了，为什么还没有pass照片给人。。各位先生小姐们，请耐心等待，本少爷在读书不得空，大大大后天考试即将来临，请放过小人一马。（或一命）。还有老师的工作设计网站我还没完成呢。。怎办？？老师也没讲什么，是让我更心虚吗？

还有最致命的一击就是在生日当天收到了一些告白，是真的很白的那种，可能说来没有人相信，可是喜欢一个人，就是那么奇怪。呵呵呵。。相信我吧。。我已经对爱情免疫了。我喜欢自己一个人，我喜欢寂寞，照顾人，和被照顾，已经不重要了。（当然我不会忘了照顾朋友。。虽然被动了一点点。。）希望我给你的回复不会伤害你很久很久，因为，我记得，前几年，我也遇到了同样的事情，可是我就是没有尽快解决，而拖拖拉拉的，我觉得，我实在浪费他的一点一滴，他的时间。结果不想这样自私，虽然是痛了一点，可是我们还是好朋友！（呵呵呵。。什么年代了？。。）

完了啦。。。database revision还没完成。。。我到底在kl干吗？原因就是：过我的生日！！！妈的（sensored###)，每年这一天每个人都在忙着做assignment，虽然如此可是我还是很介意，为什么！！！？？？？（衰就衰在大学定的日期啦。。）可是今年的生日就是这么的特别~wahaha~

嗯，今天遇到了一个dengdeng。对望的眼神让我感到失措，我到底在干吗？？恋爱的感觉顿然而生，季节，到了吗？nonono，本王子绝对不让桃花落于我手上！决不~

照片吗？迟点upload咯。。读书时间到了！

BurfffDayYYY Kissesss 4 U all~~~ ^____^
Stay Tuned for more photos@@!!!
Prepare to hurt ur eyes!!
Yay!!! We rocks!!!

Here is the teaser:

嗯？爲什麽？
想象一個人被別人排斥的滋味一定是不好受吧？
可是沒有辦法。。哈哈
是我的自然反應。

兩天裏果然玩到很開心，
終于把這幾個月來的煩惱暫時撤開一邊，
好好的享受這惡魔的天堂。
是發洩嗎？
不。不。不，我絕對是好的？（嘻，我絕對是惡魔）

無聊！

還有很白癡啦，一些人果然玩不得，
恨不得把它們丟進河裏，
不要玩就不要來營啦，
骯髒啦，什麽啦。
我還是一個很high-class的貴族王子tim，
如果一個營是這樣的話。

在營裏，
有兩种人，
一種是乖乖型，會照著你的話100%，
而另外一種，就會跑出你set的‘遊戲’規則，
是人性的規則，
是每個人都會這樣嗎？
跑出社會，
又是另外一場遊戲，
只是玩法不同。

日子過得很快，
我終于在mmu最後一年了，
從這個camp可以看得出，
每個人都有成長，
特別是。。。。從頭上看得出變化特別大，
哈哈。。我是說。。。頭髮
21嵗過後每個人都有天翻地覆的變化，
還有還有，肚子，
終于明白日子累積下來的成果了，
纍計成肚喃~
哇哈哈！！！

誰知，天堂后的我又被打到了地獄，
歡迎光臨。我的FYP~

There is an emergency call today in the afternoon and I went out to take a look.
Well to my surprise, taadaa~, I got this specially crafted cup. How lovely it is, sweet.

And I felt somewhat shocked as I'd never shown anything or had taught her anything during this event, and on top of that, I just treat her badly or I just ignored her because she just need more experiences, perhaps she just can't cope with anything like this before, I assume.

But, dun underestimate the emerging power of 'goth', nuff said.Lolx.

That's all for now, gotta finish my dreadful fyp and presentation slides.

會不會過分了一點?
想想看，讓別人走到了絕路，然後再從懸崖高処跳下來。
而然，自己也開始感到流言的力量。
像這樣的一傳十，十傳百地影響個人名聲像是一種病態，一種病毒蔓延開來，兩方都不會得到任何的意義。

雖然我自己明白，那些問題，絕對不是自己貿貿然騰然而生，只是一點一點的累贅點集而成。有問題，也只不過是各方面的錯。每個人都沒有錯，但是每個人都必須負責任。像早期剛加入時，自己還默然的高興，相信這是一個蠻不錯的家庭吧。假如一段時間后，開始發覺每個人都有一種習慣，也是我自己的習慣，就是喜歡把東西東拖西拖后，才來開始解決，可是那時已經很遲了。

原本的希望，就是希望在畢業之前，有個美好的回憶，而然終于，我得到了最刻骨銘心的記憶，可使我不埋怨，我只是覺得嘆息。看著每個籌委，就好像看著自己的影子，而很多人不明白，一直徘徊在失敗的路口，迴旋旋轉著。爲什麽失敗這麽痛苦？失敗是那麽的嚴重嗎？而成功的道路，是經過無數的失敗路口而形成的。而很多人的做法，就是在路口旁等待，而不是去修補。徘徊完了，才自己覺醒，覺醒后站在哪兒看著。可能這時候自己的感覺危險的感官開始驅動，開始為自己找藉口，或是為別人的不完整，批評，來掩飾自己，把自己有多渺小就變多渺小。

還是覺得應該從基本功開始吧：
什麽叫溝通。Communication
什麽叫事前準備。Preparation
什麽叫犧牲。Sacrifice
什麽叫善意的批評。Comment
什麽叫時間安排。Arrangement, Time Control
什麽叫理性。Rational
什麽叫管理。Management
什麽叫見人說人話，見鬼說鬼話。??

一個活動的成功與否，在於那個活動的優點勝於缺點，而其缺點，能夠解決的話就儘快地解決。從書上學過，不要給于自己任何藉口，成功是不需要藉口掩飾，失敗更不能。可是運用的話，又有多少人懂？

不用看我，如果我自己給自己分數的話，應該是零分。我無絕對不會把東西完美地完成，也不是典型的處女座。我是一個很很懶惰，而又不會運用的人。我只會簡單的做法，而不會繞一大圈地實行。東西給我，我會把東西拖到最後，可是我會把東西盡量去完美化，而又不會粗枝大葉般呈現出來，我要求完美，可是現實就是那麽的不完美。

可是現況來説，可能情況有點僵。
可是不用緊，提提精神，再繼續吧。

Just discover that the morror's reflection seemed to be fairer than the actual one.

It is good to be inside the opposite world.
Perhaps,
without sadness,
without imperfections.

That's a world far away from the truth.

From Grey's Anatomy Eps 13
George: You just have to get through high school, because high school sucks for anyone who is the least bit different. But then there’s college and out in the real world, you will find where you fit in.

Hu.... Just slacking. S . L . A . C . K . I . N . G . G . G . G....

What should I do now? What should I do next? What SHOULDN'T I do next? Kinda tired thinking that way. Just make it simple ok? S . I . M . P . L . E as how it spelled. Things go complicated while u're staying there for a long time doing nothing, just go 1 by 1. Not thinking the whole story and having insomnia the whole night!.. no points..

Ha.... way to go~
The first thing popping up in my mind is~~~ enjoy my ----- Grey's Anatomy~ Season 2!!

你，会做人吗？

听著AvrilLavigne的ThingsI'llNeverSay。
有很多东西，真的不可以讲。
讲了，让人感到厌恶，
而自己无非是为了提高自己，
以为自己很有内涵，
结果，这就是一个错误。

叫你怎样做人？
自己不会做人叫别人怎样做人，
自己到底是不是人？
我看我已经把感觉两个字从我字典消除掉了。

你会做人吗？
倒不如问自己，
你，会做人吗？